Happy New Year.

2024 is off to a rollicking start and it appears good character, collaboration and healthy cultures continues to be a point of focus.

This year the blog will be a little different.
There have been many requests for the actual wording in different situations. Clients often say – I know what I want to say, but can’t find the words to say it.

In response to these requests, let’s take a case per month and explore, from a character point of view (Intention, thoughts, feelings, behaviours) the words and actions that are reasonable and potentially appropriate for you.

January case – What to do when a peer is maligning your reputation?

The case
Your leader was promoted. You and a peer applied for their position. You, although younger and with less tenure, were promoted. The fellow applicant has been saying negative things about you to other team members. The team members have been telling you confidentially about the negative comments. You are not sure what to do.

The Character Approach – Dealing with issues with a courageous, considered response

Intention – Responding vs reacting
· What do you want to achieve in this situation?
· What would be the best possible outcome for you?
· How have you seen other similar situations successfully handled?

Thoughts – What is going through your mind?
· How does this person treat you?
· What assumptions are you making about their motivation?
· How can you deal with the issue without revealing what has been told to you in confidence?

Feelings – How to handle emotion – yours and the other persons?
· What is your emotional reaction when you hear what you are being told? (I know from my clients and indeed in my own life, this type of situation can take you aback. It might be useful for you to make notes about the situation as you work through it. Ideally the next time something like this happens, you will feel more prepared.)
· What are your feelings about dealing with this situation?
· What do you fear might be the reaction if you confront the issue directly?
· What do you think is happening emotionally to the other person?

Behaviours – What you actually say and do to deal with the situation

An option is to speak to the person directly. Ask for a private meeting with the person and ensure you are prepared to listen as well as speak. The focus is on what will be different in the future. The past is over and there is no point bringing up what happened.

The tools of Listen-Acknowledge, Ask©, and SNIP© are referenced in these links.

Behaviour – Putting It Into Words

Thank you for making the time for this conversation which is very important to me. I know that we both applied for this job and I am wondering what it is like for you at this point?

Listen. Use empathy (Listen – Acknowledge – Ask©) as appropriate.

I need to be sure of your support. If you see an opportunity to either recognize what I am doing well or if I can be more effective, please bring the issue to my attention. And only discuss the issue with me. How does my request land with you?

If the person asks if you have heard something from others, tell the truth. E.g.

Yes, and what I think is fair, rather than believe second hand information, is to bring issues directly to you. What is important is how we treat each other. I will certainly be honest and supportive of you with and am asking for the same from you. Do I have your commitment?

If the person commits to this behaviour, establish a follow-up date and send an email to them to summarize the meeting.

Final Thoughts
Of course, every circumstance is different, and you will do what is right for you, in the words you are comfortable with, and as fits the situation. The goal of this blog is to offer a structured approach and a pathway for consideration. Whatever path you take, you will learn more about yourself and your character.

Please feel free to send your comments or other cases to consider at my email below.

Best wishes,

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com
905.478.7962

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In our July blog we talked about the importance of having One-to-One conversations with each of your direct reports.

Of course, this is the right thing to do, but the challenge is when something is said that surprises you, or you disagree with, or is just not true. How you react reveals a great deal about you. This is a moment of truth. It is the moment when people are going to decide if it is safe to open up to you. A moment when your character will be revealed.

In the previous blog you had access to a listening model called Listen-Acknowledge-Ask©. Let’s talk about how to really apply this active listening model.
Sometimes it’s hard to listen. You have to be in a time and a place where you can focus on what the person is saying rather than being distracted by technology, other people around you, etc etera. This is why it is so important to schedule One-on-One meetings that are dedicated to communicating about how they work rather than the content of their work. These are two separate issues. Schedule a time and place where you can talk confidentially, privately and without interruption.

The next step is really hearing what the person is saying.
Not just the message in terms of words, but the deeper message in terms of emotion. What is driving what they are saying?

Take your time. Slow down. One subject at a time. Ask open-ended questions like;
• Tell me more about that, or
• Where did you get the information?, or
• Is there something you want me to hear that I don’t understand right now?

Repeat back what you hear in terms of the message. “This is what I think you are saying…” Ask the person for confirmation. If you are corrected – good. You are communicating.

Empathy can create a very important bridge between what the person is saying and where you, and they, want to go. Empathy might be conveyed by saying;
• That sounds like a really important subject for you, or
• I hear that you are angry over this (or disappointed or delighted or frustrated)

If you are corrected, again, that is good. Hearing takes work!

You connect with the person by understanding what they’re saying in terms of the message and acknowledging the emotion you are observing.

The last part is to ask. Where do you (or they) need to go from here. Potential questions;
• What do you think is the next step? or
• How can we be sure we are working with the same information? or
• What can we do to be sure we are on the same page? and
• Now that we are on the same page, what is the solution?

People will open up to you if they trust you. Trust is created (or damaged), in every touch point. Your gestures, facial expression, pace and tone of voice must be supportive, open and objective. Be curious – you just never know.

The information they reveal must be handled very carefully. Never sharing anything the person would consider confidential (unless it is harmful to themselves or others). Never use this information in any way that would decrease the person’s trust in you.

Being able to truly hear in the difficult moments demonstrates your good character.

Things for leaders to think about.
• Do I really want to hear what my direct reports think/have to say?
• Do I care if my people trust me?
• Is it worth my time to ask my direct reports (and my own boss and peers) for 30 minutes every two or three weeks to build a trusting relationship?
• What is the best way to document these conversations? (Ideally, the direct report documents, and you have access to, the summary of what was discussed, if appropriate).

My 4th book Communicating in a Character Culture focuses on healthy, effective One-on-One conversations. I am pleased to send a complimentary copy of the book to the first three people who respond and comment on this blog.

Upcoming blogs

Next month the blog will focus on dealing with people who undermine you.

Kindly pass this blog on to others who may find it useful.

Much appreciated,

Kathleen Redmond MA, MCC
kr@centreforcharacterleadership.com
905.478.7962

If we can be of any help, please don’t hesitate to reach out at my email above.

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Why Character Matters – What the David Johnston situation tells us about the importance of understanding Character.

Watching what has happened to the Right Honourable, David Johnston over the past months has ignited a fire in my heart to share what I have learned about character – but first let me provide some context for why I believe this topic is so important.

Thirty years ago this month I started my business. I have had the privilege of working with leaders across North America. Facilitating learning and coaching sessions in factories, conference centres, and meeting rooms. The focus has always been on building trust, respectful, direct communication and accountability.

Very often people informed me that this inclusive approach would not be acceptable to their organizations as it would be considered too soft. The irony was, as I attempted to explain, and demonstrate, that a clear, honest, courteous, courageous approach is more effective than being either too aggressive or, as was typical, avoiding tough issues.

These conversations were the catalysts for researching and writing my books, which led to the conclusion, that leaders could only really be effective if the culture is healthy.

What does it take to have a healthy, effective, sustainable culture? The answer – leaders of good character. And what does that mean? So many people talk about character, let’s define it.

In the workplace, leaders of good character are working together to create a healthy workplace. That means a workplace with clear expectations, honest recognition for valuable work, and accountability. Supported by effective, practical, aligned systems.

It seems so simple to have leaders on the same page but, it is often rare. The solution lies in defining and developing “good character.” Everyone has an individual character. The challenge is to determine not only what good character means (big picture – constructively intentioned), but also, what it means in specific situations (like how we treat people when we disagree with them). Good character doesn’t rest on perfect people or perfect behaviour, but rather people who can listen, accept responsibility, learn and grow.

Intention is the starting point in determining leadership character. Does a particular leader want the organization to be successful or do they simply want to grab as much money as possible without worrying about the impact? Are the right people being promoted into leadership positions for the right reasons? It is imperative that intentions be discussed and agreed on at a leadership level and then clarified for the entire team.

These sound like obvious questions, but I suspect many of you know leaders who are self-serving vs. doing the “right thing” for the organization. We need leaders who are committed to the “right thing.”

Let’s consider the situation with our former Governor General, the Right Honourable, David Johnston. This gentleman, who when requested by the prime minister to deal with a weighty issue, stepped up as an Independent Special Rapporteur on Foreign Interference.

Whether you agree with his recommendation or not, the situation revealed some very important factors about our political leadership.

•              Partisan positions were immediately struck without a full assessment of the recommendations. The Donald Trump style of “attacking the messenger on a personal level,” when you don’t like the message, was clearly in evidence. So, from a character point of view, do we have senior elected leaders who want the best for our country, or do their own interests come first?

•              Who attack people when they don’t like what they hear?

And what does that say about their character? Of course, we have to consider the system within which they lead. Is there any way to be more respectful and collaborative given the current system?

We need people who will do the right thing. Who decides what is the right thing? In effective organizations leaders decide together. Based on good data. An important issue is where are we getting our information?

People I once considered as reasonable and well informed are quoting beliefs from social media and other unsubstantiated sources. I am shocked at what people can believe to be true.

There is a well-known quote by former U.S. Secretary of Defense James R. Schlesinger: “Everybody is entitled to his own views; everybody is not entitled to his own facts.”

David Johnston, in his book Trust, Twenty Ways to Build a Better Country (2018), writes about the importance of sourcing solid facts. (see note re credible resources).

Another particular subject which emerged so clearly in this situation – is how do we want to treat each other and certainly treat our seniors, to say nothing about a senior statesman who has served our country so well and honourably?

What do we want our Canadian Character to be? Watching our former Governor General be grilled, interrupted, unkindly characterized in cartoons, is surely not who we are or want to be. What can each of us do as a result of watching this disgraceful debacle?

Learn from it. Organizational leaders, ensure your leadership is on the same page regarding significant issues such as the one we have all just witnessed. Discuss character – what are the intentions (beliefs, values and objectives) of your leaders and thereby, your organization.

We will only be successful when we unite to do the right thing – which requires good character.

Notes and Character Tools

Questions for Leaders to discuss with each other and their teams.

•                     How do each of us describe our culture?

•                     How would our teams describe the culture of this organization?

•                     What culture do we aspire to?

•                     Are we as leaders, competing or collaborating?

•                     What can we do to collaborate more effectively?

What is the best way for us, as a leadership team, to ensure we are on the same page in terms of how we treat each other as well as

•                People who are doing excellent work

•                People who aren’t meeting expectations

•                Our senior staff

Craig Leonard, Industrial-Organizational Psychology PhD and Senior Consultant at EY suggests the following information for credible leadership data Gartner, and Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior

Kathleen Redmond has written five books on organizational culture and employee engagement.

•              She is offering a courtesy sample of her Character Culture Framework (competencies and values), which is housed in Building a Character Culture for Trust and Results in the Workplace.

•              The intention is to provide an opportunity for discussion on beliefs, values and objectives in your workplace.

•              Click here to download this sample. If you would like a copy of the full Character Culture Framework please email Kathleen directly. Kathleen Redmond

Upcoming blogs

The goal is to offer a monthly blog between now and the end of December 2023. At that point we will assess, by asking you, if you are finding value.

Each month will have an example of character and tools.

Thank you for reading this blog. Kindly pass on to others who may find it useful.

Much Appreciated

Kathleen